I remember as a young girl I tuned the television set and heard a woman say ‘believe your husband, trust him even if you know what he is saying is not the truth’
For some strange reasons that statement keeps creeping into my thoughts over two decades after I stumbled upon the station as a child.
As a young adult, I pondered why anyone would advise that you believe someone even when you know they’re telling a lie. Maybe she put it the wrong way. Perhaps she meant it otherwise I wouldn’t know.
So one year into marriage I had a glimpse of what she could mean.
It was a slightly sunny mid-morning and I had just finished washing a few clothes. Gaily I took the bucket of clean clothes towards the window level uncompleted building which served as our clothes dryer in the open sun. I put my bucket down and bent over to pick up one piece of the clothes to begin the journey whilst humming a song. As I lifted my hands with the clothes to spread, my eyes caught it!
A long slithering brown object about the size of my hand walked!
I was sure it moved!
I let out a scream, jumped, and ran towards the house as quickly as my now shaking legs could carry me. The door must have swung open in obedience to the adrenaline that rushed through my hand as I called out to him panting.
Me: Wura!! Snake!
Him: (Up on his feet and walking towards the door with all urgency) where?
Me: By that place where I was about to spread clothes, I saw it there!
By now he was at the location, standing on the window level block and looking into the area where I pointed to.
I was glued to the door as far away from the location as possible still visibly shaken! I soon went inside leaving the clothes outside to spread themselves.
He came in….
Me: Looking at him expectantly I ask, did you see it?
Him: No there’s nothing there
Me: (Baffled) I saw it! There’s something there!
Him: Emphatic with a tone of finality said there’s nothing there.
Convinced I knew what I saw, I kept quiet and stopped asking but I was sure I saw it!
…..Two Weeks Later
Seated in the living room of the family house are a young man, a friend of the family, a husband of mine, and his mother.
I’m walking towards the living room from the kitchen and I hear….
Husband: O’tobi to bayi (meaning it was as big as this)
Man: O’tin bo, o’tin bo (she’s coming, she’s coming)
My mind tells me that he is narrating the story of the snake I talked about some weeks back which he told me didn’t exist. Since I wasn’t a part of the discussion, I simply walked in and sat down casually as if nothing happened and I heard nothing, but again…. I was sure of what I heard!
Three years later…..
One discussion leads to another and the husband of mine tells me that he saw the snake🐍, he watched it crawl into one of the holes of the uncompleted blocks. Then he covered it with another block and boiled water which he poured into that hole 🕳️.
I looked at him…
Boya to laugh abi to punch him gan, I didn’t even know! (Unsure of what do to him exactly)
Me: When! I knew what I saw that day! Why did you say there was nothing!
Him: Oh okay, so I should have told you there was a snake that big so that you will run out of the house right? Then whenever I’m out to work how would you walk around in the compound freely?
I didn’t even know what to make of his logic, I just reminded him of the discussion at the family house and how I decided to act ignorant.
Today, two years after that confession I remember that statement that has lingered for decades from that television station ‘believe your spouse, trust him even if you know what he’s telling you is not the truth, believe him.’