There are few moments in life that are more enthralling than the early stage of a relationship, when lovers bask in the blossoming romance inflamed by an undeniably strong gush of passion. Sooner or later, the testing stage comes looming when the sparks seem to lose a bit of their glitters.
This stage is usually flagged by some common issues couples face. One’s ability to swiftly spot and address these issues will play a key role in how long the sparks glimmer or how quickly they flutter.
Here are some red flags to look out for in a relationship;
Nothing makes a relationship seem drabber than when activities are routined and continuously repeated.
While buying your partners flowers every week or going clubbing every Friday night might seem romantic and fun at one stage, they are likely to be later perceived as being monotonous and unimaginative if repeated over and over again.
While in some rare cases both partners might be down with the routined activities, it’s always nice to tweak things every now and then. Rather than getting your partner the usual weekly bouquet, surprise them with one of their favourite things such as a jewelry or jersey of their favourite team. Instead of going to a club on every Friday night, set one apart for a special date in a lovely restaurant, cinema or even a planned romantic dinner at home.
Spicing things up occasionally will go a long way in keeping up the sparks in your relationship and showing your partner how much you’re willing to invest in sustaining the sparks.
2) Sudden Intolerance of Partner’s Flaws
With the early sparks of a relationship gradually fading away, some unknown or previously overlooked flaws in partners may begin to become conspicuous and intolerable.
Even though it might sound a bit flimsy, lovers who have been together for months may suddenly find their partner’s snores intolerable. Others might suddenly begin to nag about their partner’s independent spirit even though that was what got them attracted in the first place.
These sudden changes in perception often result to bouts of fights and arguments which may ultimately lead to the dissolution of such relationship.
The best way to address this is to open up to one’s partner and work towards reaching some sort of compromise. When this becomes impossible, it’s a matter of how long one can endure.
3) Contrasting Expectations
It’s not uncommon that people get committed to each other while oblivious of the fact that they both have contrasting expectations in the relationship. This often occurs when lovers act on impulse and are swayed by the heat of the moment into forming a union without ensuring that they both want the same thing from the relationship.
While some people see the signs early and note that their partners are in the relationship for the short-term, others only find out after marriage that their partners are not keen on having children, despite having previously noticed how awful they are with children while courting.
It’s best to have ‘the talk’ as soon as one sees signs of contrasting expectations in a relationship. If afterwards, things don’t change, you might want to consider walking out of such a relationship.
4) Contrasting Philosophies
This is another issue lovers sometimes overlook during the early stage of a relationship. Details of one’s partner’s stance on important subjects such as sexuality, financial management, religion, feminism, sexism e.t.c. goes a long way in affirming their compatibility.
The scientific notion that opposite sides attract does not necessarily apply to relationships. The more contrasting philosophies lovers have, the more subjects they spend time debating on. Even though the arguments may seem fun in the onset, there’s no saying how far the spats could get.
5) Communication Cracks
The essence of communication in a relationship cannot be over emphasized. For the purpose of this article, the issue of communication cracks will be narrowed down to instances where lovers feel like they’ve exhausted all the possible topics to talk about.
This scenario is common in many relationships when lovers often pause for long periods during conversations, cracking up their heads, thinking about things to talk about. In extreme cases, some simply avoid engaging their partners in a conversation so as to avoid that awkward moment of silence.
While many people get hung up on just one aspect of communication, there are actually two! When you run out of things to talk about (verbal communication), you can always resort to employing non-verbal means to communicate.
Thus, when words fail you, you could take your partner out on a stroll in a park, under the fading twilight. Even without uttering a word all the way, such a gesture conveys the message of affection to your partner, telling them how lovely it is to spend beautiful moments with them. After all, they say ‘actions speak louder than words.’